A Breakup Letter to the Pee Hole

Here’s what I’m talking about. A boy in the family named it that, and it was his favorite thing about my house. Its proper name is a cleanout, but obviously I’ve found a more pressing use for it than cleaning my soil pipe. I found the blocks of wood lying around and put them there to save my knees.

 

Dear Pee Hole,

I know we’ve had over a year together, but I’ve come to realize that it’s time to move on. You’ve been there for me during some challenging times, but I need more than you can give me. My female friends won’t have anything to do with you, and sometimes I feel like you’re not able to take my shit.

And on top of that, there’s someone else in my life now. Someone who can provide what I really need. My Elger.

Mission: Habitable

So more house fun I haven’t told you about yet: I was in trouble with my homeowner’s insurance company because my policy is apparently for occupied houses. This means they could have denied a claim if anything happened that I actually needed my insurance. They kindly gave me a little more time, and as of yesterday, I’m in!

Hello dorm bedding, it’s good to see you again.