I went home Monday after 4 nights with my parents. It was kind of late when I got home and I was tired so I put off unloading non-perishable groceries until right before my bedtime. And then I noticed green dust coating most of the bottom of the cabinet. It was always a little dirty – some onion skins dropped in the back behind the carousel and I ignored them, figuring they were harmless. This was obviously different, being everywhere and an unsettling color. Then I noticed what looked an awful lot like a tail sticking out underneath a bag of split peas.
As you can imagine, my bedtime got pushed back. All of my bagged and boxed food wound up in the trash or in pots and pans with the lid on. I needed the roommate’s help to lift the carousel up and clean under it. Yes, somehow the chewed up split peas made it all the way underneath.
I got to bed crabby but had a wonderful dream. In it, I got all the adult mice with snap traps, but their babies were too small. But I lifted up that carousel and found them there, huddled together. The adults were chewing up the split peas and tossing them down there to them. I smashed the whole lot of them with a dictionary. I seem to also remember chasing after them with my chef knife.
Back in the real world, I’ve had superfun outings to buy food storage canisters, mousetraps, and those electric mouse repellent things. The Irishman told me that they worked brilliantly at his house, which might have something to do with why they’re at mine now. We’ve noticed much less activity lately than Monday when it seemed to have peaked. But… the peanut butter I’ve been putting on the traps is now attracting ants! Oh joy.
All this is adding up to me becoming a lot more cold blooded than I used to be. Not that I’ll actually start running around the house driving knives after them – that would be crazy and make a wreck of the house. In the beginning my stomach would drop when I found a sprung trap. Now I find them less gross than dog poop, and I pick them up the same way. If I had another one sitting still in front of me there’s a good chance I’d pin it down and smashing its skull with a can of soup. I’d bleach the can but have no problem eating it either. And when I was in bed last night and heard a snap, I just smiled. My kill count is at 5 and is slowing down.
Anyways, I have over a dozen mouse traps out. There are ant baits next to most of them. And there’s fly tape up because apparently pests come in 3’s. This was by far my most expensive week since I stopped working on the house. But now my pantry holds more than ever, and it almost even looks good! Plus, this could be an early step toward my goal of buying more bulk food and less packaging.
For the record, I’m not actually a sadist. I’m still unwilling to use glue traps. Hopefully there will be more to say about my house soon. At this point, it’s basically unchanged since June. Except my plants are dead. Womp womp.